GRACE UPON GRACE
Ever come across profound moments in your life? maybe even re-occurring ones that you're not even aware of? But something in that moment hits you and clears up the fog that has gotten you to that point, where confusion meets unsure meets REALLY?!?
I'm there.
Where the revelation of God's hand in my life to get me to where I am is clearly shown. My place and my purpose is meaningful. things fall into place and it all makes sense.
Where looking back... everything is a domino of my choices. Where his path for me was already there. waiting for me. watching me step off it and go the to her direction.
Where all my why's are answered.
And just as all this clarity comes, the haunting influences creep up from behind and wait for me to proclaim my great discovery, only to make the move. Bring the destruction. the self inflicted hatred and disappointment.
When yet again, people's opinions and negative attitudes rub off and eat away at me. Satan makes his way back in.
But the acknowledgment of such events, need to be noted... and then known. bringing awareness, to further prevent any more pain and hurt. To end the lies and deception.
Once the area of weakness is found, it needs to be strengthened, to prevent repeated history.
How many times must a scar be re-opened, before it will be left alone to heal?
How many times can one be convinced of the same thing? good or bad? when is there a numbness?
How much repetition does it take to be instilled?
Discipline... Determination...Faith and God's Grace... are the answer to overcomming
Obedient prayer
Ask. Seek. Knock.
Heal. Grow. Learn. Teach.
<3
What about the harsh realities that demolish your ideal world you've convinced yourself of? where truth be exposed and disappointment takes over. Your heart breaks, yet again.
When you find yourself asking, was any of it real? did any of it matter? Was I the only one?
Could it have been different? Will it change? What will it take? When will the day come?
Can things ever go back to ok?
Where is the balance between pleasing others and working on yourself?
How is it that in ones own circumstances, things are different than when it is someone else?
hmmm so many questions...
<3
2 comments:
just wanted to say, here i am... that way you dont have to search for me... :)
-rebecca
this is really good. I feel like there are so many moments in these past few weeks for me where something has just clicked. Where I could not make sense of it for the longest time and then all of the sudden I got it. it is great.
love you girl.
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